Super Vindictive Bros.



MARIO and LUIGI are sitting at the dinner table, eating their breakfast.  Mario is quietly eating some waffles, but Luigi is only drinking coffee.  Luigi looks bitter about something.

MARIO:  Hey Luigi, what’s the matter?  Aren’t you going to eat?

LUIGI:  I will, after I read my paper.

MARIO:  Why don’t you go get it then?

LUIGI:  Because it isn’t here yet.

MARIO:  Oh no, the paper boy’s late again?

LUIGI takes another sip of his coffee, being eerily quite as he does

LUIGI:  ...Yep. 

MARIO:  Luigi, are you okay?  I know this has been like the twelfth time this month that he’s done that… 

LUIGI:  No, I’m fine.  Perfect, actually.  And tomorrow morning, that little twit of a paper boy’s gonna know how perfectly fine I am. 

MARIO:  Luigi, what are you planning? 

LUIGI:  Don’t Worry about it, Mario, You just enjoy you’re waffles.

Luigi chuckles to himself in a mischevious way.

Mario looks at Luigi with concern as his brother laughs like a comic villain, but he cannot resist the lure of the waffles and resumes eating.

EXT.  Mario Bros. House – Morning

A young toad PAPERBOY comes running up the street towards the Mario Bros. House.  He is upset and frantic, since he is once again late on paper delivery.

PAPERBOY:  Oh man, I can’t believe this.  I am so fired.

The Paperboy reaches the house, only to see that LUIGI is standing by the front door, waiting for him.

PAPERBOY:  Oh, Mister Luigi, hi there.

Luigi only stares at the PAPERBOY, not making any emotion. 

PAPERBOY:  Oh boy.  I’m sorry I’m late again.  Here’s your paper.

He offers a paper to Luigi.

PAPERBOY:  I promise, it will never happen again.

Luigi looks at the paper, and then looks at the PAPERBOY.

LUIGI:  You’re right, this isn’t going to happen again. 

LUIGI pulls out his mallet.

PAPERBOY:  Oh no. 

LUIGI swings at the PAPERBOY, but he dodges the hammer and runs away.

LUIGI:  Oh no you don’t!

Luigi chases after the Paperboy.  The Paperboy manages to barely outrun Luigi, running away from the Mario Bros. House with Luigi chasing him.

The Paperboy continues to run from Luigi, leading him from location to location.  The Paperboy continues to scream as they pass through each location.

They run through Toad Town/

Then through a grassland/

A desert area/

A beach/

A frozen tundra/

The inside of a Volcano/

And finally they return to Toadtown.

Upon reaching the center of Toadtown, the Paperboy trips on a GOOMBA and falls.  Luigi proceeds to stand over him to deliver a killing blow with his hammer. 

PAPERBOY:  P-please!

LUIGI:  Let’s-a-go!  Upside your head!

LUIGI swings his hammer at the PAPERBOY.

MARIO:  Luigi, stop!

Luigi stops his swing, his hammer just inches from the Paperboy’s head.  He turns to look at Mario, recognizing his voice.

LUIGI:  Bro?  What are you a-doing here?

Mario, now in Fire Mario outfit, has his hand facing out at Luigi, prepared to shoot a fireball at him.

MARIO:  You’ve gone too far Luigi.  Let him go.

LUIGI:  You wouldn’t dare.

MARIO:  Don’t make me do this, Luigi.

Luigi looks at Mario and then looks at the Paperboy. He stares at the Paperboy for a second more.  He begins to look angry.

LUIGI:  (Bringing his hammer up) Worth it.

LUIGI swings his hammer at the Paperboy. 

MARIO:  Luigi! 

Mario quickly fires a rapid succession of fireballs at Luigi, hitting him with everyone. 

Luigi screams in an interrupted pattern as he is struck with the fireballs.

Mario ceases fire.  Luigi, now charred and smoking, stands motionless for a moment, drops his hammer, and then falls to the ground.

Mario walks over to his unconscious brother.  He is sorrowful as he checks to see if Luigi is alive. 

Mario turns and looks at the Paperboy, who is now standing.

PAPERBOY:  Mamma-mia.



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