How To - Putting in a Pool

These instructions will guide you through the necessary steps that you need to take in order to install the pool of your dreams.

Step 1:

Begin by deciding where you want to place your pool.  Whether you are getting a in ground or above ground pool, you will need to know where it is going before you make your purchase.

Next, you need the proper tools to survey the area you've selected.  Items needed are a measuring tape, spray paint to mark your area, and, most importantly, a selection of family members to argue with.

While any tape and paint will work, choosing the right family members is pivitol.  We suggest inviting over your most abrasive and arrogant relatives to help with the process.  You want everyone to enjoy your pool, and if you can get the most irritating people in your life to at least say your decision is not horrible, you can avoid many grievances in the future, like embarrassing visits by the police because you've gotten into a fist fight with your drunk uncle over his unsatisfactory remarks about your decisions.

Step 2:

Now that the domestic disputes are out of the way and everyone is (mostly) happy with your decisions, you can proceed to buy your pool.  At this point you will need to consult your friends, family (the good ones), the internet, and your uppity neighbors down the street who own a pool themselves.  Your friends will tell you ask your family, your family will tell you check online, and the overload of information on the web will leave you with no other choice but to ask your self-absorbed doctor neighbor where he bought his.

Once your neighbor has told you where he bought his, after warning you about how expensive they will be, you will need to visit the business, as you are now out of ideas and options.  For your visit to this pool store, you will need the appearance of a lack of interest, patience, and the ability to not let them on to how large your budget is for this pool.

When you are at the pool store, avoid looking at the hot tubs.  This will keep the employees as pegging you as luxury spender.  Immediately go to the counter and ask for information about their pool options.  Go over the pamphlets presented to you with seemingly genuine interest, then choose the one you know is close enough in size qnd in your budget.  Remember to ignore their suggestions for other models or sizes.  Make your purchase, and wait for the delivery.

Step 3:

This step is two phase process.

Now that you have ordered your pool, you must now begin excavating the area of your yard that will serve as the pool's final home.  For the first half of this step you will need shovels (potentially a backhoe if it is an in ground pool), a level and string to check for level, more friends and family to help with the work, and plenlty of food and drink to keep the free labor happy.

Next, for phase two, all you will need is a telephone and the number of a good excavator.  These two things are for when you realize you are in over head, and need the help of a professional excavator who actually knows what he is doing.

Step 4:

This is when you actually assemble your pool.  The foundation is set, and all that is left to do is build the pool of your dreams.  The list of tools needed is large, but will not be presented to you, because by this point you know it is best to just pay the people from the pool store to put it in, especially after the failure you experienced when you tried to do the excavation yourself.

Step 5:

Congratulations!  You have reached the final step!

Your pool is now completely installed and the water is properly cleaned a chlorinated.  It is now time to enjoy your private oasis.  Well, it would have been, if you had not procrastinated for so long with your project.  Because now it is the middle of September, and it's time to get your pool ready for fall and winter, and close it down.  For this you will need a large pool cover that can be secured in place, and a quiet place you can go be in by yourself to vent out all your frustrations.


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