On the Radio

Dear Radio Stations,

I just wanted to write you and thank you for the quality of music and entertainment offered by you and your affiliates.  Really, I mean it.

Yes, thank you for all hours of pleasurable music, spread in between days of commercials.  Sure, I may only hear one song every twenty minutes, but hey, I know you have to make your money somehow.  Maybe you could just make your money another way beside airing ten-minute ads for boner pills, back to back.  Actually, no, I'm sure you know best.  Sorry for bringing it up.

I also want to extend my gratitude for airing only the best music.  You play the most popular, chart-topping singles, over and over again.  I just feel so lucky when I'm in my car and hear a song when leave to go to the bank, and hear it again when I return to my car, ten minutes later.  If there's one thing I can count on, it's that you will always strive to inundate me with the latest trends in music.

And finally, I want to thank you, O magnificent radio stations, for selecting only the finest people to serve as DJs.  You can't even imagine the feeling I get when I turn on my radio, expecting to hear music, but instead hear a probably-high, self-absorbed Art major telling me about all the things I never cared about but apparently should.  Things like how their mornings went, how they can't wait for the weekend, and how the local sports teams are doing.  I would be completely lost if they weren't filling me in, instead of playing the music I thought I was tuning in to hear.

So once again, thank you, radio stations everywhere.  You've always been there for me, showing that there is always a career I can pursue after I've hit rock-bottom.


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