INT. NOSTALGIA BANDITS – DAY
Various employees and customers work and shop inside “Nostalgia Bandits,” a vintage collectables shop.
As everyone goes about their business, A NARRATOR talks about the store.
NARRATOR: Here at Nostalgia Bandits, we have all your childhood favorites under one roof…
CUSTOMER#1 picks up an action figure and see as fifty dollar price tag on it.
NARRATOR: (CONT’D) …and they do not come cheap.
CUSTOMER#1 looks at the SALES CLERK behind the counter.
CUSTOMER#1: Fifty dollars? This thing was five bucks when I was a kid.
SALES CLERK#1: Maybe so, but if you want to own it now, it’ll cost you more than a month’s worth of groceries.
NARRATOR: You all grew up and got “too cool” to play with your old toys. But now you’re older, and see that life is cruel, and just want to recapture your youth.
CUSTOMER#2 picks up a copy of a video game. He looks at the price tag, and complains to SALES CLERK2 next to him.
CUSTOMER#2: Why is this game eighty dollars? That’s more than a new game.
SALES CLERK#2: Because they don’t make it anymore, and when you were twelve you decided it was a good idea to trade it in for a six dollar value.
NARRATOR: Yes, here at Nostalgia Bandits, we have all the classics you stupidly got rid of. If you want them, and you know you do, you’d better stop on by now, because we also have this crap listed on EBay.
FADE TO BLACK.