SFB

Do you constantly find yourself watching TMZ or reality TV? Are you always checking Twitter feeds of celebrities, or posting selfies?  If so, you may suffer from a condition called Sh*t For Brains, or SFB.

SFB is a dangerous, yet preventable disease which is brought on by years of a poor diet consisting mostly of obsessing over popular media, reading self help books and voting for Democratic presidents.

SFB is not a genetic disease, but some of your parent's stupidity may have increased the severity of your own symptoms.  Make sure to consult a physician who is not called Dr. Oz about any family history of moronic behavior before seeking treatment.

Dealing with SFB is a lifelong battle, as there is no cure, but there are treatments which can help alleviate the discomfort, both for you and the people around you.  Simple things like turning off your TV, logging out of Facebook, and unsubscribing from magazines filled with clearly doctored photos of has-been celebrities are the first steps you can take yourself to ensure a life free of completely idiotic and unimformed comments about politics and the environment.

Now is the time fight back and reclaim your common sense, before you grow old, become a college professor, and spread this sickness onto others.

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